Natsu,
by babybuonarroti
Summary: "You know, it snowed today. It's still summer, but it snowed today. When you left the world, you took every ounce of its warmth with you." She wrote to him every single day. Nalu, Gajevy. T for minor graphic detail. WARNING: CONTAINS MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH.


**So, my inspiration for this is sad. A boy in my town, whom I knew of but did not know personally, died after roughly a month of hospitalization after a severe motorcycle accident. I've been reading the posts that his loved ones are writing in honor of him and I've been really choked up. I can't imagine how they must be feeling right now. I'm sorry.**

 **Disclaimer: You're lucky I don't own Fairy Tail.**

* * *

The crisp winter breeze blew softly throughout Magnolia, its icy chill stinging the faces of its victims as it wound within the air. Warm breath struck the cold air in a wisp of transparent ivory, disappearing moments later as the energy was stolen away. The trees were nearly barren, a few dead leaves hanging precariously on tree branches. The wind threatened to peel them away. Fresh snow laid like a rug on the frozen ground from that morning.

Most people were inside, enjoying a warm fire and the presence of their loved ones. It was Sunday, after all. One woman snuggled deeper into her scarf, pulling the source of warmth up over her small nose as she walked the familiar path to the cemetery. She was wearing plenty of layers, but that couldn't keep the cold from biting at her exposed cheeks and forehead and stinging her glossy brown eyes. It was truly a frigid day. There had never been a colder winter.

She neared the large wrought iron gates of Kardia Cathedral's burial grounds, immediately spotting the headstone she was looking for. Each of the stones were coated in fresh snow, save for the large stone in the center of the small graveyard which held a flame that would not go out. There wasn't a time she had visited this stone that its flame hadn't been lit. Not a morsel of snow had fallen on the grave. There was a small journal that had been left on the grave which had never been there before. She stared at it, perplexed.

The woman knelt down, hesitantly reaching for the bound paper book before she paused. _Is this a violation of privacy?_ The thought was fleeting, and soon replaced by another. _Surely if it were important, it wouldn't be left out in the snow._ She gingerly plucked the journal from where it had been left leaning against the slab of stone that jutted from the ground. She fumbled with opening the cover page, thanks to the gloves that lined her fingers and palms.

Once the cover was pulled away from the pages inside, her eyes were free to roam over the words that were written there. She stared, heartbeat quickening, at the story that spilled out before her. This wasn't something she was prepared for. She felt guilty for reading it now, but she couldn't bring herself to stop this major invasion of privacy.

 _DAY 1_

 _Natsu,_

 _I know you're going to think this is silly, and probably call_

 _me weird, but I couldn't get the idea out of my head. I don't_

 _ever want to forget the adventures that we have together or_

 _how far we've come in these past few years, so I'm going to_

 _write_ _to you everyday for a year so that we can always read_

 _and_ _remember it. I got the idea from writing to mama_ _everyday._

 _Today we went fishing and Happy caught the_

 _biggest_ _fish. Imagine that! You were jealous because you_

 _want to win at everything, always. We were both proud_

 _of Happy in the end. We agreed to take a job tomorrow_

 _so that I can pay for my rent. My landlady still gives me_

 _dirty looks every now and again. I thought we were_

 _friends now! Anyways, thank you for always helping me_

 _out when I need it. And thank you for NOT breaking into_ _my house today!_

 _-Lucy_

She felt her chest tighten painfully as she read the words. She skimmed through a few pages before she stopped again.

 _DAY 50_

 _Natsu,_

 _We came home from another job today. I was so proud that_

 _you didn't burn down the client's house that I even made you_

 _and Happy dinner! Next time we'll work on not destroying_

 _the city. Everyone at the guild was so happy to see us, it really_

 _makes me feel loved. You and Gray have been arguing less_

 _and less lately. It seems like you've really become good friends!_

 _Personally, I think it's kind of cute that you're both growing up._

 _The guild hall really appreciates it too!_

 _-Lucy_

 _DAY 78_

 _Natsu,_

 _You got hurt today again. We were up against another dark_

 _guild and we got separated. I managed to hold my own against_

 _a few of them, but the odds were really stacked against you._

 _In the end you won, of course, but you were pretty badly injured._

 _We got to Wendy in time to heal you, thank Mavis. I hate seeing_

 _you like that. It really scares me, Natsu. You mean a lot to me._

 _Seeing you get hurt like that always pains me, even though_

 _you get hurt a lot. You always just give me that goofy smile and_

 _tell me you'll be alright, but that doesn't make it any easier._

 _Even though I always know you'll be okay, I can't help but_ _worry._

 _I care about you._ _Thank you for always being so strong._

 _-Lucy._

 _DAY 104_

 _Natsu,_

 _I don't know how to describe today. It was one of the happiest_

 _days of my life. You make me so happy! I can't write much_

 _more or else you'll see me and it'll ruin the surprise. You're almost done_

 _in the_ _shower now._

 _Love, Lucy._

 _DAY 136_

 _Natsu,_

 _Today you left to train. I wanted to go with you but you said_

 _it was something you had to do alone. I could tell you didn't_

 _like telling me that. Happy didn't like it too much either. He's_

 _going to be staying at my apartment until you get back next_

 _week. He's already mopey without you here, even with grilled_

 _fish. I can't say I'm in much better shape. I miss you already,_

 _hurry back home._

 _Love, Lucy._

 _DAY 143_

 _Natsu,_

 _You were supposed to come home today. Happy and I miss_

 _you a lot. I hope you're not stuck on the train again. Happy_

 _has been crying for a couple of hours now, he just went to_

 _the kitchen a few minutes ago to get something to eat._

 _I hope_ _you get back soon._ _I'm worried about you._

 _Love, Lucy._

 _DAY 150_

 _Natsu,_

 _Where are you?_

 _Love, Lucy._

There were tears on the page, making the ink bleed out into a circle. Her throat was closing up, tears pricking at her eyes and threatening to spill. Her chest ached painfully. She clutched it with a hand, feeling as if her heart might try to rip out of her chest. Every wound was fresh again. Every memory was at the forefront of her mind.

 _DAY 155_

 _Natsu,_

 _They called off the search today. It was the first search I_

 _hadn't attended since they began, per request of Mira_

 _that I get some rest. I couldn't believe it when you first_

 _came in. It felt like someone ripped my heart in_

 _two. I couldn't do much more than stare for a few long,_

 _agonizing minutes. I'll never forget what transpired today_

 _for as long as I live. This memory is so far engraved in my_

 _mind that I'll carry it with me to my grave._

 _I heard the guild doors burst open, and for a moment my_

 _heart soared. The search parties weren't supposed to be_

 _back until dark. My heart was then shot out of the sky and_

 _sent spiraling downward to the ground. I was at first confused_

 _at why Sting was visiting Fairy Tail, until I saw you. You were_

 _hanging in his arms. I'd never seen you in that position_

 _before. Your body was limp, your unmistakable head of rosy_

 _hair hanging towards the floor. Your eyes were open. Dull._ _Grey. Lifeless._

 _I felt my blood run cold. Colder than anything I'd ever felt._

 _There was ice in my veins, refusing to pump blood through_

 _my body so that I could continue to live, breath,_ move,

 _do anything. Sting's head was bowed, but there were tears_

 _falling from his chin and landing on your stomach. It was_

 _then that I noticed you were missing an arm._

 _I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It seemed the rest of the_

 _guild was as petrified as I, for there was a deafening silence._

 _I don't remember when I started crying, but I haven't stopped._

 _It felt so wrong. I still don't want to believe it. I've seen you_

 _bounce back from the impossible so many times. You're so_

 _strong. You're not supposed to die, dammit._

 _You're not supposed_ _to die. You can't be dead._

 _You were so pale. Oh god, you were so pale. I could see parts of_

 _your bone, raw tendons and muscles hanging from your shoulder_

 _in a grotesque display of the wrong that had been done unto you._

 _Dried blood soaked most of your body, like you were forced to_

 _lie there on the ground and slowly bleed out. Around your lost_

 _limb seemed to be the tell-tale markings of very large teeth._

 _I want to erase that vision of you, so abused and hollow, from_

 _my brain completely. You're the strongest person I know,_

 _something like that doesn't do right by you._

 _I stroked your cheek. Your skin was so cold. I couldn't stop_

 _myself from staring into your eyes. I kept imagining that spark_

 _lighting in your eyes. I kept imagining you smiling at me and_

 _telling me, "Don't worry about me, Luce." I keep imagining you_

 _coming in through my window and asking me why I'm sobbing_

 _so hard I can't breathe. I see you everywhere I look. You're_

 _everywhere, Natsu. How can you be everywhere but here?_

 _How can you be gone? How?_

 _You know, it snowed today. It's still summer, but it snowed_

 _today. When you left the world, you took every ounce of its_

 _warmth with you. The flames that warmed my heart have_

 _disappeared. I'm so cold without you here, Natsu. I'm so,_

 _so cold. I can't stop shaking. I want to see you. All I want_ _is to see you._

 _Please Natsu, you're the strongest person I know._

 _Love, Lucy._

 _DAY 156_

 _Natsu,_

 _Your funeral was today. I haven't stopped crying since everything_

 _happened. I haven't slept, haven't eaten. I can't do anything_

 _except for sit and cry. Everyone is in shock. It feels so surreal;_

 _it shouldn't be real. I don't want to believe it. I just can't believe_

 _I'll never see your smile again. I'll never hear your laugh again._

 _I'll never be able to tell you I love you, how much I really, truly_

 _love you. I'll never be able to thank you for everything you've_

 _done for me. You showed me a new life. You brought me to_

 _Fairy Tail; you brought me a home and a family._

 _How could_ _I ever thank you enough for that?_

 _You had so much heart, so much passion for what you_

 _believed in. You didn't deserve this. I don't understand it._

 _Is life really just this cruel? Do all good things have to come_

 _to this dreadful, screeching halt of an end?_

 _I didn't get to tell you goodbye before._

 _So goodbye, Natsu._

 _Goodbye._

 _Love, Lucy._

 _DAY 200_

 _Natsu,_

 _I miss you so much. It's been almost two months but everything_

 _hurts just as much as it did when you left. Nothing is the same_

 _anymore. Happy and I haven't been to the guild in a long time._

 _It's too painful. Everywhere I look, you're there. Waving, smiling,_

 _laughing. I'm thinking about moving out of the apartment. Some_

 _of the things here still smell like you. Your clothes are still here,_

 _right where you left them. I don't have the heart to move them._

 _Happy sleeps on them at night, if he sleeps at all._

 _You are loved, Natsu, and you are missed. More than you'll_

 _ever know. More than I'll ever be able to tell you._

 _Love, Lucy._

 _DAY 250_

 _Natsu,_

 _I moved into a new apartment. Happy likes it. There's even_

 _a couch in the bedroom that he can sleep on. Little by little_

 _we started going back to the guild. Everything is back to normal,_

 _but different. I guess it's hard to explain. I've been taking jobs_

 _with Erza, Happy, and Gray. You wouldn't believe some of the losers_

 _we've been hired to take out. We hardly had to lift a finger_

 _before they ran screaming. It really reminds me of you._

 _I still see you when I'm sitting on the train. The image of_

 _you getting sick and laying in my lap is something that I'll_

 _always see. We miss you a lot, we all do. I'd give anything to_

 _have you back. I'd give anything to see you smile and tell_

 _me everything is going to work out just fine._

 _But things are slowly getting better. I finally feel like I_

 _can eat without getting sick again, and I can sleep without_

 _so many nightmares._ _I'll always look to you for strength._

 _Love, Lucy._

 _DAY 365_

 _Natsu,_

 _I can't believe it's been a year since I started writing to you._

 _It feels like yesterday I was running my fingers through your_

 _hair, pretending I didn't feel anything more than friendship_

 _for you. It feels like yesterday we were raising hell, running_

 _around through towns and wreaking havoc. Well, you were_

 _wreaking havoc. I was trying to keep you from destroying_

 _everything. It feels like yesterday I finally heard you say you_

 _loved me, and I called you an idiot and told you the same._

 _I still can't believe you're really gone. It hurts so bad to_

 _remember, no matter how hard I try to look to you for comfort_

 _and keep your memory as a reminder of the fact that there_

 _are good people. No matter how hard I try, I still want you back._

 _I want to hug you and tell you everything I was still afraid_

 _to say before you left. I was to go back and tell you not to_

 _leave for training. I want to have more adventures with you._

 _I hope you're smiling down on me even if I can't see it._

 _I'm going to keep writing to you everyday, just like I write to_

 _mama. This year, Happy is going to write to you too. I know_

 _how much you must miss him._

 _Love, Lucy._

She could feel the tears rolling down her face, warming her skin beneath their touch. Her shoulders were shaking as she closed the book and set it back down on Natsu's grave, feeling her throat tighten almost to the point of closing up. She fought in vain to choke back her sobs, rubbing away the tears with her cloth gloves. The fabric felt rough against the raw skin beneath her eyes, but she paid it no mind. Her heart was broken all over again.

She had seen everything transpire; the 'accident', the funeral, Lucy and Happy's sudden disappearance from the guild. She had watched it all happen, her heart breaking more and more with each passing event. And now it was like she had relived it all, like Lucy's writings had ripped her chest open and poured her heart out into her lap.

"C'mon Shrimp." The gruff voice startled her, causing her to peek over her shoulder with swollen, red eyes. At the sight of him she merely cried harder, causing him to frown. He walked over and helped her to her feet, pulling her face into his midsection with one arm to let her cry there. "You gonna be okay."

She nodded into his jacket, her hands twisting into the fabric as she clung to him. Levy pried her face away to look up at him. "Lucy wrote to him everyday." She sobbed weakly, shoving her face back into his stomach. "She wrote to him every single day."

Gajeel stroked Levy's hair, her cerulean locks cold as ice in their current weather. He looked down to the headstone where the eternal flame burned. His crimson gaze was soft as he glanced up into the sky, flakes of snow beginning to fall around them once again. "It hasn't stopped snowing since you left, Salamander." He muttered aloud, gripping Levy tighter as he did so. "Did you take all the heat with you?"

* * *

 **Okay, I made myself cry whilst writing this. If I didn't make you cry, well, I failed at my job. Jeez, this was brutal. I'm kinda sorry.**


End file.
